I would guess that the most likely cause is a very dead 12 volt battery. Sometimes, even with a jump it can still cause this kind of malfunction. Obviously there are other possibilities, but this is fairly likely as well as easy to fix. Taking the vehicle back to the dealer is clearly the right way to go.

 

People here will tell you that either their unit is perfect or they will victim-shame you and tell you that you should have done your homework and knew you were buying a low quality vehicle. Whatever you do, do NOT contact @JeepCares as they will just lie to you.

 

Yesterday, she drove to work, parked the car, worked all day, 10 hour shift, then when leaving the vehicle had zero electrical power... She couldn't unlock the doors, had to use the manual key in the fob to get inside, no lights, no dash indicators, nothing. She attempted to have someone jump start, but even after connecting a jumper there was zero power, no dim lights, no bells, no dings....just a giant paperweight.

Today it's getting towed back to Jeep to figure it out, but wanted to ask here to brainstorm.

This sounds like a dead 12v battery. There are any number of issues that can cause a dead 12v.

It also sounds like you have a gas grand cherokee, not a 4xe, so much of the discussions here regarding anything to do with the hybrid systems won't be relevant.

If you have a gas gc with the second 12v battery for the start stop system, one battery dying can bring down the other, so both would need to be looked at.

Could there be a remote interlock device that was installed that was triggered to disable the electronics? Sure, such a thing isn't impossible, but unless you have good reason to suspect someone would have done such a thing, it's far more likely that you just have a bad 12v battery.

 

Yes, its a gas GC limited 4x4. She regularly turns off the start/stop as she doesn't like the engine starting and stopping at lights. That's a simple switch on the dash. We live in Arizona and in our past cherokee, we wanted the engine running so that the engine coolant fans and A/C werent effected. We can thank the EPA for these goofy work arounds (and cost).

That start/stop battery appears to not have easy access, as it is under the passenger seat and looks from what I could tell like you would need to remove the seat, which is full of electronics, to access the battery. I personally have never seen a brand new battery die in 10 hours with the vehicle not running, to the point that not even a door bell would chime. Even if you left everything on, headlights, radio, dash, etc, the car auto turns that stuff off after some time. Especially when you hook up another jumpper vehicle to it.... some sort of life should have been indicated...

As far as the remote interlock, would just stealing a new car be worth that? I have heard people are able to somehow scan for fobs and remote program and access the vehicle. Is that a thing?

Sorry if I misposted this in the wrong forums

 

Don't worry. Even posting in the wrong forum you will get the "badger" treatment. He is very reliable in letting you know what a crap vehicle choice you made.